Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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