Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
