i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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