she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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