Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
