It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
