grandma shit on top of the toilet
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
