im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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