I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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