It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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