How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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