giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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