Cold hands, warm shart.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
