it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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