hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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