obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
