We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
