the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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