White coat. Heels.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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