um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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