there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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