Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
