how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
