Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
