I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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