Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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