We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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