Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
