Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
