Need sex. Gaining weight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
