I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i dont even know how to be here
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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