I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
