yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so let's talk penis.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
