I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
