who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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