just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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