just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want her autograph on my taint
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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