Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
