he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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