I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
