24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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