And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
