suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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