And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Too much gin, very little bucket
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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