It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Two words: nipple clamps
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