Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
