then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
