I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
