we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
