My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
