youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
