hotel room ftw
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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