i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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