She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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