i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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