i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize