Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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