so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
