I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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