i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
