Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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