I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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