she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
